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responding defensively | learn to accept suggestions or defend themselves against suggestions |
Parent should build momentum , focus on positives first before suggestions. | Not sure |
have some step in to defuse the situation | |
Client can change the subject and not engage | |
Introduce a positive statement following any suggestions made by parents. Have conversations in person rather than by phone | Something that could help decrease the response of habit automatically might be to take deep breaths as they are speaking to parent. |
Talks about something they both like first then ask if it’s ok to make a suggestion | goal for decreasing her defending defesively |
Self monitoring / tracking number of perceived negative comments. | If a perceived negative comment is made the person will respond with a “ok” or counting to 10 before making a response. |
change format of conversation | teach scripts for responding |
Adult runs while on the phone with parents. | Counting 10 seconds before responding |
Take a breath, pause 5 seconds, make an acknowledgement statement | Come up with a response script |
box breathing | |
Have an in person conversation with a positive programming update to share with the parent | Having stock phrases to respond to the parent when certain problems arise that are solution oriented |
n/a | n/a |
Responding defensively. But the root seems to be a lack of healthy boundaries. | Decreasing defensive response rates would mean a punishment procedure. I would rather increase the alternative behavior response rates by using goal setting and reinforcement. |
Pause instead of responding when a parent makes a suggestion. | |
Parent asks for suggestions | Parent listens to feedback |
Act like it os the parents ideas. Listen to what they say, then shape it so they come up with idea with you. | Keep track of how often it happens and give reinforcement for anything less than baseline. |
Tell the parent that you need to pause to go get a drink of water | When back on the phone, the adult can accept the suggestion/hint and/or change the topic. |
Start off by identifying what triggers the adult | Take deep breaths when triggers occur |
Instead of suggesting that there is a problem, focus on presenting solutions by offering various options. | Ask your question at the end of the conversation. |
Ask for elaboration from parent | |
Context change: Before calling the parent, the adult takes 30 seconds to jot down a short “conversation goal” (e.g., “Listen first,” or “Ask one clarifying question before responding”). Novelty: Place a visual cue (like a sticky note on the phone or computer that says “Pause—Listen—Reflect”) to serve as a novel discriminative stimulus for calm, goal-directed responding. This small addition introduces novelty into the pre-conversation routine and contextually shifts the individual from reactive mode to mindful engagement. | Goal: Decrease the rate of defensive responses and strengthen goal-directed behavior. Intervention: Differential Reinforcement of Alternative Behavior (DRA) Target alternative: Calm, respectful acknowledgment or clarification (e.g., saying “I see what you mean,” or “Can you tell me more about that?”). Procedure: Self-monitor each call (tally defensive vs. calm responses). Provide self-reinforcement (e.g., verbal praise, short break, preferred activity) contingent on meeting a set criterion—such as fewer than two defensive replies in a call or maintaining a neutral tone for the full conversation. Optionally, use a response-cost element (e.g., losing a small privilege or token if defensive comments occur), but only if it’s motivating and not punitive. |
Before calling the parent, write down one positive update or gratitude note to share first. Begin the conversation with that, setting a calmer and more positive tone before discussing any suggestions or problems. | An effective intervention to decrease the frequency of defensive responses once the habit is interrupted and a goal-directed behavior is adopted would be differential reinforcement of alternative behavior (DRA). |
switch to in person or video call | DRA |
Habit oriented | Having parent limit suggestions or rephrase |
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