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have the conversation in person | reframe thoughts related to parent feedback |
When a parent makes a suggestion, remove self from situation. | Make a pro-con list for the suggestion. |
meet in person | replacement behavior - use curiosity |
Try switching to text messages. | proof read and edit texts being sent |
asking questions | parent asks adult how to handle a situation |
Change the environment. For example, discussing setting up a meeting in person to discuss concerns or have concerns sent via email and then discuss them on the phone. | Come up with a rehearsed series of responses to reach resolution. For example, discussing rationale. |
Ask follow up questions | Try one of the suggestions |
video calls | reinforcement of appropriate problem soliving |
Ask questions about what the parent thinks the issue could be | Utilize behavior skills training |
Interrupt the thought habit by labeling the adult's response as 'their opinion'. Realize that it is good for them to have input and can be used as an educational moment. | Practicing stop, count to 3, then respond |
interrupt by taking a breath and telling yourself "they're a concerned parent" - hear the parent's suggestion and tell them you'll look into it | the outcome of responding more goal-directed may outweigh the outcome of responding defensively |
when parent suggests something, do a little dance | thinking through responses |
Take a second to think of a response rather than responding right away | making a self monitoring system where give yourself a reward for less number of defensive responses. |
Count to 3 before answering any question | |
shift to text or in person communication | self-report/ identify defensive statement |
acknowledge their point of view | recognize value of parent input |
End the conversation | |
Having the meeting in person rather than than on phone | Reinforcement for following through |
teach a response of tell me more what you are thinking. | reinforce appropriate repsonses right after the call |
write down an alternate way to respond and have it in front of you on post it. | deep breath, have a phrase that acknowledges but moves on |
When the parent makes suggestions, interrupt the thought and change it to they are only trying to help. | Take time out of your day to think about how your parents care for you and are only trying to help you |
Introduce a reflection moment before respond e | Introduce value |
Novelty: write letters or share a notebook back and forth to leave suggestions and problems in. | |
write a reminder on a post-it note prior to the call | Write down alternative ways to respond to parents |
Parent should reserve discussions of problems for in person discussions | Having adult make a choice of one action step |
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