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make other suggestions in line with what the parent is suggesting | incompatible response; a response that is does not allow for the past or unwanted response to occur |
n/a | n/a |
change form of conversation to text | set a timer, cannot respond before it goes off |
have the adult have a list of topics to discuss | have a list of response they can use visiable tohelp steer the conversation in the right direction and stay positive |
state expectations prior to phone call | reinforce |
say 1 positive thing before anything negative or defensive | provide positive reinforcement and praise for the positive comment |
Have a funny response prepared such as ‘I’ll add that to the list’ | differential reinfocement |
Try pausing and repeating back the suggestion or hint. | Make no comment on the problem or hint in the moment and state you want to think about it. |
Set the tone of the phone call with something positive; keep the parent engaged/ask questions pertaining to interesting topics/preferred interests in order to minimize time for problems/hints. Also could engage with the comments directly saying it is uncomfortable when this occurs/try to problem solve. with the parent (non-defensively) | Positively reinforce positive topics/behavior; when feeling the need to act defensively, practice asking a question to change the topic, address the issue directly, and practice taking a deep breath/pausing when the urge to act defensively hits/after comments are made |
Counting before responding. | Ask a follow-up question. |
I don't like when my mother starts talking about my sister | Change the topic when she starts |
Feedback written down | shaping |
? | s |
Have conversations in person in lieu of via telephone. | Use compassion as discussed in the last presentation. |
Interrupt | Interrupt |
Change the conversation to an email format. | Practice responses. |
breathe | |
change the subject | switch up reinforcement |
agenda for phone calls to move parent suggestions to later in the call | ending on a positive for the call |
responding defensively to a suggestion or a problem | Child will utilize I feel statements and ask for clarification from parent |
Do not respond immediately. | |
Open the conversation with asking the parent what has gone well and what has not recently, then take your turn. Mode of conversation may be better in person | Set out goal orientated conversations e.g. we are discussing X because this is what we are working on. Reflect on the situation, did the event move towards or away from the goal. |
Perhaps the parent should ask a series of guided questions to direct the conversation helping the adult to ask for suggestions or recommendations. | Specific verbal praise provided by the parent to encourage the adult to ask for suggestions when needed. |
Count to 10 in your head before responding once the parent is done speaking. | Provide at least 1 positive statement/reassurance to what the parent was saying. |
Limit phone conversations preferring to speak in a face to face manner. | Listen all the way through the other person’s suggestion to get the full context and be able to respond after getting the full suggestion. |
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