| Untitled | Untitled |
|---|---|
Meet in person to have difficult conversations. | A plan could be for the adult to notice when they are feeling triggered, pause before responding, and have a practiced list of more constructive responses (clarifying questions, naming their feelings, etc). |
Ask parent on what are the appropriate things does the child engages in | |
Develop self-talk script for when the parent makes a response, include a time delay before responding. | Introduce a time-delay or a practice script that thanks the parent for the suggestion and indicates that the behavior analyst will consider it. |
Meet in oerson | Ask parent what is going well first |
have phone conversations in private space | moving spaces |
Offer a complement to the other individual about something they did well recently | Write down some feelings in a journal when you are feeling defensive |
take a deep breath | make a positive statement about their suggestion |
Taking a minute restate what the parent is asking. | |
point out what they are doing right before suggesting changes | Consider response effort |
taking a shower when you get home to stop from eating | Novelty |
Take the phone calls in a different location and hold a stress ball | Taking a deep breath |
write down the suggestion and process it later. | repeated rehearsal |
Change phone conversations to Face-Time or texting. Seeing the person's face or seeing their words rather than listening can support a change in context. Writing down a response or writing down the suggestion/problem rather than immediately responding to it. | Write down the suggestion/problem and let the parent know that you'll think about it and get back to them. If it comes up again, the person will have had time to reflect and come up with a thoughtful response and plan. If it doesn't come up again, no need to respond to begin with. |
One way to introduce novelty and interrupt the adult’s automatic defensive responding is to change the physical or emotional context of the phone call. This could include taking the call in a different room, standing instead of sitting, or placing a small visual cue—such as a sticky note with the word “Pause”—near the phone to disrupt the habitual S-R chain. Even beginning the call with a brief grounding action, like a slow breath or jotting down one intention for the conversation, can insert enough novelty to switch the interaction from an automatic defensive habit into goal-directed responding. | After the defensive habit has been interrupted and the individual is operating in a goal-directed mode, a helpful intervention is to teach and reinforce a replacement response such as reflective listening or a short delay phrase (e.g., “I want to think about that for a moment”). These intentional responses require attending and slow down reactivity, helping the adult access alternative behavior patterns. Over time, reinforcing calmer, more constructive communication—and acknowledging when these responses lead to smoother conversations—can reduce the rate of defensive comments and support the development of a more adaptive, more stable communication routine. |
Discuss suggestions in person | Pairing a complement with positive reaction |
Write down the key words the parent says as they're talking. | Identify and say one area of strength from the parent using a set of rehearsed starter phrases. |
create script such as "I'll have to give that more thought" which allows for time to think and respond | scheduling later conversations to discuss topic |
Introduced a neutral observer or coach during calls to shift the dynamic and reduce defensiveness's . | using variable reinforcement , when adult responds constructively , this helps reduce defensive behaviors over time. |
Have a list of appropriate responses to parent's suggestions | Schedule check-ins with parents so that suggestions are made on schedule |
don't have them on the phone | shaping advocacy |
Inset Nover content | Rehearse |
Give a new response they should say when that happens | Add value to the response |
maybe they text instead of calling, giving the adult more time to consider a respone or using AI to check their response for tone, word choice | They could also set a timer for how long they will talk to their parent, they could reward themselves for setting boundaries |
Change the tone of responding | |
Change the tone of responding | |
| Untitled | Untitled |
