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Change the setting: The adult could decide to take the call in a different room of the house, perhaps somewhere with a calming atmosphere, like a garden or a quiet study. The change in physical space can subtly alter their mental state and make them less likely to fall into the usual pattern of defensiveness. Introduce a distraction: The adult could take the call while performing a simple, engaging task, like doing a puzzle, sketching, or even just doodling. The mild cognitive load of the new activity can occupy the part of the brain that would normally jump to a defensive response, creating a window for a different reaction. | Use an incompatible behavior |
put your computer in the living room | say I will do that |
Have video calls | Self monitoring |
Begin by encourage a new activity. | Not too sure. |
Take a deep breath | |
Instead of phones calls where a discussion of a problem is the topic instead change environmental context meeting in person. | Meeting in person at a public place like a coffee shop or lunch spot that may allow the adult who normally responds defensively to engage in socially appropriate behaviors of public interactions where the adult may listen to what parent has to say without and/or decrease in interruption rates and allow for a better understanding of parent's intentions to perspective take in solving the problem collaboratively. |
Bring up a topic the other person enjoys | Do not discuss certain topics when there is a stressful situation |
Count to 5 before responding | DRL |
Ask for a 10 sec pause before they can respond | |
instead of responding right away, train the adult to stop, think and ask the parent for clarification, or paraphrase what the parent said with "what you're saying is..." | Ensure that adult child stops, thinks and/or asks for clarification before responding. |
face to face meetings | DRL |
Take a deep breath before responding | Repeat back what is being said to better process before responding |
saying okay | pause, and write down to respond to later |
change of environment | Task orientation |
Change communication to in-person rather than on the phone | During in-person conversations, begin by asking if there is anything in particular that the parent would like to discuss. Schedule topics of conversation in order to redirect |
tell the parents you will get back to them on this later | |
count to ten before answering | yoga |
take a deep breath before answering the phone. | practice active listening and pause before replying |
Utilize a verbal cue to indicate to parents that the adult needs a minute before responding | Teach coping strategies and/or talk to parents about how those suggestions are triggering during conversations |
every time the adults responds defensively the parent finish the call | NCR |
possibly try to bring up the suggestion in a way where the adult it guided to that conclusion rather than told. | Make a goal that acts on working with others in a cooperative manner rather than a combative manner. |
Count to 10 then say defensive response in your head. | Practice new responses |
Ask questions before responding | |
have conversations in person where tone and affect are more perceptible and won't trigger as much ideation around being judged. | have parent give suggestions in formatted style |
I dont know | |
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