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Respond positively | Interrupt the habit with novelty |
breathe before responding | learning to respond meanimgfully |
Take a dep breath before responding | coming uo with a few responses before responding or actively listening |
Adult asks follow up question such as "tell me more about that" rather than responding defensively. | Redirect conversation to a more agreeable topic. |
dont respond right away, if possible listen then respond via email after recapping conversation | dont respond right away |
Every time the parent makes an unfavorable suggestion, tell the parent to hold on and take two very deep breaths | When the adult takes the deep breaths, notice how useful and beneficial it is/feels |
Maybe have the parent and adult agree to only make suggestions in person | identify how the change has positively effected the relationship |
Meet in person. | Not sure. |
change the topic | ask about more details of the suggestion |
interupt- :I have to go" | end call and wait to respond |
The parent can ask for a suggestion instead of giving one. | Lower value of reinforcement |
Wait 3 seconds before responding | After waiting, try rephrasing what the parent said and then respond |
Adult child can ask a specific question about the parent's life/schedule | DRA |
when a parent makes suggestions try saying "I'll think on it" | to decrease defensiveness it's important to recognize it first |
Instead of reacting immediately, make a conscious effort to mark that you are reacting to interrupt the thought process | Once you notice catching yourself interrupting the thought process, start to write down what triggered you and how to appropriate react |
use face time instead of phone call; interrupt by teaching to repeat back to the parent "What I'm hearing is...." | teach automated responses " thanks for that suggestion," teach a perspective taking skill that will allow the individual to see that the parent is just trying to guide their child |
Insert a neutral pause or scripted response to break the automatic defensive reflex before it fires. | I think DRL |
rehearse line about I hear you say | |
making bed everyday is ahabit- have new sheets are different to make | make it less reinforcing |
Add paraphrasing the adult suggestion | Create a goal to reduce the number s of statements in a week |
Have the conversation in person | Ask yourself if the person is attacking you. If not, listen to what they are saying/ asking and think about it without filtering it through the defensiveness. |
x | x |
Tell a joke or funny anecdote. | Reform the question or statement and make it a choice of the child so they don't feel like they are being criticized but instead feel like they are problem solving instead. |
unsure | unsure |
have the conversation in person or facetime | |
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