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Change from phone to in-person conversations | Go in with a plan about what you will say to yourself or aloud when given suggestions — ex. Repeating or rephrasing what was said by the parent |
Suggest phone calls at different times of the day or in different locations. | Implement a signal or cue to recognize the defensive response. |
Count to 3 before talking to his parents | Mention something positive about his parents' behaviors. |
maintain positive conversation | Speak only of things that reinforce the listener |
set a timer for 15 minutes before responding | review visual cue that guides responses |
identify strengths/succes rather than problems first in the conversation | eliminate discussions about problems that can't be changed, introduce only minor problems first and do so infrequently at first |
Create an agenda and ask for concerns first | |
restate the suggestion to see if you understand it, pause- consider habut or GDB | use a material prompt |
Add something novel to disrupt routine. | Repetition of the added stimulus. |
Identify a better time of day for the phone call | schedule something more enjoyable to follow the phone call. |
Parent can start taking notes on what the therapist is saying during phone conversations so that they can review and process before responding or reacting. | note taking and processing |
Introduce novelty | Differential reinforceme ts |
rephrase how the suggestion is delivered. | Encourage the parent to give a positive comment first and then teach the parent how to use collaborative language when making a suggestion. |
adult can chew gum after noticing parent's precursor bx | antecedent intervention, prime phone call with for self by taking deep breaths prior to call or establishing vocal boundary for phone call with parent |
Count three before answering | Accept the suggestion and hint |
Have the parents make a statement that there is no need for defensiveness and it is an open line of communication | Have adult state their concerns in return or express emotions |
Having two choices of outfits to attend school, for child to choose from; instead of asking the child to get ready without options of what to wear. | Waking up the child a bit earlier to be able to have enough time for choosing what to wear, having breakfast and being on time at school |
Write a script for a neutral statement to say when a problem arises. | Extinction |
take a deep breath. drink a glass of water and remind yourself to not become defensive. | intention |
parent could change timing of suggestion | client would think about reason for parent suggestion as coming from good place and consider whether they want to consider the suggestion |
Have the parent lead the conversation | Ask more questions |
State "that's fair" and pause before giving an opinion can lower defensiveness. | |
Teach the adult to always start a response by summarizing what they just heard the other person say. | Teach the adult to think through both their own and the other person's point of view, and reframe their own thinking toward a growth mindset. For example, they could ask themselves, "how is this person trying to help me?" or "what can I learn from this?" |
text instead or visit in person | Teach alternative responses |
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